The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and visit this site strong , leading to powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay males want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" check my reference chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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