The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought investigate this site in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that much of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather he said than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your my company heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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