The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near and bonded hop over to here with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

But when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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