The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are view publisher site drawn in to exceptionally hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. Many gay males wish to discover out from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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